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(In the past ten years, it's estimated, more than 40,000 children, young adults, and adults have taken at least one OWL class.) Michael Tino, a Unitarian Universalist minister with a Ph D in cell biology, cowrote the young adult OWL curriculum and understands why the adult classes have proved popular.
"You can have the best high school sexuality curriculum in the world," he says, "but a lot of critical issues are not going to be addressed in those classes: How do I enjoy my sexuality if I've lost a breast to cancer?
The students are asked to write down sexual experiences in chronological order, using the black pen for those that were in their control (such as a first kiss) and the red pen for those that were not (such as getting their first period).
The women are a flurry of activity, practically tripping over each other to scribble—"played doctor," "found a pubic hair," "menstruation," "kissed a boy," "kissed a girl," "touched by a cousin," "fell in love," "lost my virginity," "had an abortion," "had a baby," "breasts sagging," "menopause," "discovered sex without love." The men look on and appear intimidated.
"You want to—you need to—broaden the definition of sex.
Like the other night, my wife was singing to me, and I said, 'Oh, you're making love to me.'" One of the first pilot classes for the OWL program took place in Boston three years ago.
Can I feel sexually satisfied if I don't have a life partner?
" Next Tuttle, a retired sex therapist, asks the students about the experience of mindfully touching themselves: "How did it feel? " "It made me wish someone else were touching me," Elizabeth says.
"We see sexuality as a very important part of the human experience that is lifelong," says Janet Hayes, public relations director for the UUA. Your sexuality doesn't end after you stop having babies or get divorced or after you turn 60. We feel it has to be integrated into our spirituality because, for us, spirituality is about wholeness." So in 2008, the churches—which together have about 6,600 U. congregations and 1.4 million members—introduced classes for adults 18 to 35.
Her parents didn't shy away from explaining things, and kept books like Our Bodies, Ourselves and The Joy of Sex in the house.
But in 2005, Sylvie and her husband began struggling with infertility. "We were always trying to get pregnant." So she signed up, with the hope of refiling sex under "pleasure" instead of "work" in her brain.