Dating punk guy
We are obviously sorry we missed this, and want all of our fans out there to know that this in no way reflects any of the other members’ preference for relationships with women 10 to 15 years younger than us.” Rumors that Huerta is dating 29-year-old real estate agent Amy Silva were confirmed when the singer was caught wearing a suit at Silva’s former college roommate’s wedding.“I saw these photos pop up online, with Danny hanging out with all these old-ass people. “None of the girls had braces, none of them were wearing wristbands, and there wasn’t a single tank top to be found anywhere.And yet, this is the most intimidated I’ve ever been at a show.A reminder that, as a woman in punk, you constantly need to defend yourself against challenges of space, ownership, and identity to justify that you’re cool enough to be standing where you are.This didn’t stop me from levelling them at other women. Internalised sexism manifested in ugly ways, from disguising my own femininity and sneering at women who wore heels to shows.The entitlement of identity and wanting ownership over music, dismissing others as scenesters who weren’t serious about music. Consider the ways in which women are treated, however, and this becomes a logical but destructive defence mechanism. Expectations that you’ll have the right networks, know the bands, the promoters, the labels, but can’t hang out with your friends at a show without your status being questioned.
That they are always one badly curated mixtape away from knowing anything about music. It didn’t matter if I was playing Q And Not U or Girls Aloud. It wasn’t Shellac, or the Stone Roses, and I was still a woman. It is a parasitic distraction, and it takes away from everything else about you. I’m learning to stop comparing myself to other women, and viewing them as competition. Fuck it up at DIY shows and dance to pop music recklessly, wearing heels and glitter and jeans and cut up t-shirts. Expectations that you’ll wear the right band t-shirts.Project onto other women instead of pointing out the irony of articles calling out hardcore bands for being meatheads whilst declaring that the definitive sign of their succumbing to the mainstream is a conventionally attractive woman wearing their t-shirt at a gym.But, for me, being able to examine it critically played the biggest role in stepping out of the ‘cool girl’ trope. Forget the notion of cool, and forget the notion of cool as defined by anyone else other than yourself.It allowed me to realise that other women are not the problem. One of the most liberating things I’ve unlearned is looking for the approval of men, and since abandoning those constraints I enjoy music more. Collaborate with women and other marginalised groups in punk, rally around each other, protect and support each other and invest energy in creating.